Pete Shit’s mother, Bertha Shit, always hated Cochtotan. She
always wanted to live in the big city but her husband,
Cyrus, never made good on his promise to take her to
Fresno. Cyrus was a legendary local Lothario who, according
to a legendary local saying, had “been inside
more Cochtotan woman than black strap molasses." When
the local library shut down, Cyrus skipped town with
the librarian, never to be seen again. Depression overtook
Bertha and she took to the house, endlessly watching
her beloved videotapes of Brideshead Revisited. For years,
her only joy was hearing her beloved Pete imitate these
bawdy tales of the English Army. For his eleventh birthday,
mother gave him a parade drum and he never looked back.
Nowadays, he still talks a little like Jeremy Irons but
his stick work is pure Cochtotan. It was only a matter
of time until Beau and Shorty came a knockin’.