Pete Shit
"Never a beat off"

Pete Shit’s mother, Bertha Shit, always hated Cochtotan. She always wanted to live in the big city but her husband, Cyrus, never made good on his promise to take her to Fresno. Cyrus was a legendary local Lothario who, according to a legendary local saying, had “been inside more Cochtotan woman than black strap molasses." When the local library shut down, Cyrus skipped town with the librarian, never to be seen again. Depression overtook Bertha and she took to the house, endlessly watching her beloved videotapes of Brideshead Revisited. For years, her only joy was hearing her beloved Pete imitate these bawdy tales of the English Army. For his eleventh birthday, mother gave him a parade drum and he never looked back. Nowadays, he still talks a little like Jeremy Irons but his stick work is pure Cochtotan. It was only a matter of time until Beau and Shorty came a knockin’.